Journal / Ayjay

 

Date - 21/05/2019

 

As someone that is trying to live their best life, I feel it is my duty to nourish the aspects of myself that bring about a clear state of mind and avoid the traps ill often set for myself. Our biggest obstacle is undoubtedly ourselves and in some cases, it can be a real challenge to stay out of our own way. 

The following is my understanding of what sways me astray from my spiritual path and what I have noticed over the years has paved my way back to it. I define inner conflict and obstruction of my journey strongly to a quote I once heard about a great Cherokee speaking with his grandson. 

 

“Grandson, there are two wolves inside of me. One wolf is white, good and altruistic, generous and kind, and the other wolf is black, mean and greedy, violent and angry. The two wolves are in a constant fight within me.” The grandson, with wide eyes, says, “But which one will win, grandpa?” And the grandfather says  “The one which I feed.”

This quote really hit home with me because it raises awareness to the fact that we all have a bit of ying to our yang. When I feel my spiritual centre start to sway I have a choice to work towards freedom and standing tall as the  'White Wolf' or giving my energy away to the 'Black Wolf' at a price of friction, pain and ultimately unhappiness. 

 

Inner conflict is something I struggle with daily make no mistake. 

I am no exception to its grip and have had many situations that have left me thinking have I really learned anything about myself at all? The answer to that question is yes, what I have learned is the importance of raising the big questions because ultimately big answers arise. 

I have deep respect, both for life and myself and understand that what an inner disturbance really means is a chance to let go of something that is holding you back, something that is hindering your ability to fly. I will welcome inner conflict and its ability to iron out my creases.